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Brats, pets & primal

Brats and brat taming: a beginner's guide

One of you pushes back on purpose so the other has to make them behave. It’s playful defiance, and many couples trade roles.

In the quiz

• Brat and brat tamer
• Switching who’s in charge

How to start

1. Agree which kinds of bratting are fun and which are actually annoying.
2. The tamer answers with consequences: a spanking, denial, being pinned.
3. Keep it playful.

How to keep it safe

• Real conflict isn’t bratting. Stop the game if it turns into an actual fight.
• The safeword still applies.

What you need

• Nothing needed.

Ideas to try

• Refuse an instruction on purpose.
• Tease at dinner, face the consequences at home.

Is your partner into it too?

Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see brats and brat taming in your results if you both said some kind of yes.

Take the quiz

Sources

• Brown, Barker & Rahman (2020). A systematic scoping review of the prevalence, etiological, psychological, and interpersonal factors associated with BDSM. Journal of Sex Research.
• American Counseling Association (2020). Kink culture: What professional counselors need to know. Practice brief.

Related guides

• Ownership and collars

  Belonging to someone, and claiming them. A collar or a discreet necklace makes it something you can wear.

• Pet play

  One of you takes on a pet role: kitten, puppy, eager to please. It’s often more playful and affectionate than sexual.

• Primal play

  Instinct over technique: chasing, wrestling, growling, biting. For some people it’s the most freeing kind of play.

Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.