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Lingerie and dressing up: a beginner's guide

Something picked to be seen and then taken off. Lingerie, heels, leather or latex change how you feel as much as how you look.

In the quiz

• Lingerie or dressing up
• Heels or boots on in bed
• Leather or latex

How to start

1. Pick something together, or surprise them.
2. Wear it under your clothes for a whole evening out.
3. Leave some of it on during sex.

How to keep it safe

• Latex can trigger allergies and needs a shine or lube made for latex.
• Heels in bed: mind the sheets and each other’s shins.

What you need

• Starter: one piece you feel great in.
• Upgrade: leather or latex pieces.

Ideas to try

• A reveal at the end of a date.
• Both dress up for each other on the same night.

Is your partner into it too?

Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see lingerie and dressing up in your results if you both said some kind of yes.

Take the quiz

Sources

• Herbenick et al. (2017). Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PLOS ONE.
• Frederick et al. (2018). Differences in orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual men and women in a U.S. national sample. Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Related guides

• Oral

  Taking your time with your mouth. Receiving more oral sex is linked to more orgasms for women in large surveys.

• Anal, from first steps to advanced

  Anal play is more common than people think, and it starts with fingers and patience, not sex.

• Foot play

  Feet are the most common body-part fetish. For some it’s massage and attention; for others it’s the main event.

• Body worship

  Slow, devoted attention to every part of someone. It’s about feeling adored.

Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.