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Sexting, calls and photos: a beginner's guide
Building anticipation while you’re apart with texts, calls or photos. It’s how a lot of couples keep things going through busy weeks and work trips.
In the quiz
- Sexting during the day
- Phone sex or video calls
- Sending each other photos
How to start
- Start with flirty texts about what you’re thinking of doing later.
- Escalate slowly, and ask before sending a photo the first time.
- Try a phone or video call when one of you is traveling.
How to keep it safe
- Lock your phones and turn off message previews on the lock screen, especially if kids use your phone.
- Leave faces, tattoos and recognizable backgrounds out of photos.
- Agree that photos stay between you and get deleted if either of you asks.
What you need
- Starter: phones with proper screen locks.
- Upgrade: a locked, separate photo vault.
Ideas to try
- One message an hour all afternoon, building up.
- A photo of what you’re wearing under your work clothes.
Is your partner into it too?
Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see sexting, calls and photos in your results if you both said some kind of yes.
Sources
- Mori et al. (2020). The prevalence of sexting behaviors among emerging adults: A meta-analysis. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
- Herbenick et al. (2017). Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PLOS ONE.
Related guides
- Dirty talk
Saying what you want, what you’re doing or what you’re about to do. For a lot of couples it’s the fastest, cheapest way to turn things up.
- Sharing fantasies
Telling each other what you think about, whether or not you’d ever do it. Talking about a fantasy is its own kind of sex, and it’s usually where trying things starts.
- Degradation and humiliation
Words and treatment that would be insults anywhere else, used as a turn-on. It’s often about letting go of having to be good.
- Praise
Telling your partner how good they’re being. It’s simple and works on almost everyone.
Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.